This is a short story based on the form of a Craigslist job form. It’s a rough draft I whipped up this morning but it’s fun, so I thought I’d share.
job title: Can you see what’s written in the stars?
compensation: contract job – negotiable
employment type: part-time
Needed immediately: anyone who has the ability to read the future. Foretelling by the stars preferred, other methods will be considered on a case-by-case basis. (No sacrifices, please.) Are you someone who has always been able to foretell what was going to happen next, but was afraid to tell anyone? Are you someone who has visions of calamity, who has barely sidestepped their own fate because of this ability? Your secret is safe with me. I can pay you via Paypal, to any email address you like. I will not be doing background checks. Your words will be held in the strictest confidence, by me and by you. I will, however, require a demonstration that your power is as you claim, for verification. Once verified, I will require a weekly write-up of my future, and any way my actions could affect the future. These reports will be seen only by me and archived in a secure database with no outside access to the Internet. You must be timely and you must be accurate, and your payday will prove to be so as well. What are you waiting for? Submit a 300-word prediction of what will happen next week. If it proves true, I will contact you the following week with further details.