So I haven’t been blogging lately at all, and I blame being a senior. I have so many assignments to turn in right now, that thinking about doing one for myself feels like wooooork and my brain begs me not to do it and I realize I may be on the edge of doing too much and not quite looking towards jumping off.
I am in three excellent classes right now. I’m taking a seminar fiction class (which means, lots of writing.) I’m in a Queer Studies poetry class, which means lots of reading and writing. Then I’m in a communications class, which is a lot of research and activity. They’re dovetailing nicely, the concepts from one class folding over into another until I’m not sure where one starts and one ends. I’ve heard of integrated learning like this before but usually it’s designed that way, and this is spontaneous. I accept it as part of the weirdness that can pervade my life.
I’m getting to the end of classes, though. This quarter, then Summer quarter, and I’ll be graduated, which is freaking me out a little bit. This bubble that I created for myself was a safe place where I wasn’t expected to be out in the job market is about to pop. I’m anxious about finding work after school. I’m sort of an anxious person anyway but this isn’t helping. Imagining getting turned down to jobs I haven’t even applied for yet is probably not the healthiest way to spend my time, but brains don’t always play nice.
There are other struggles playing havoc right at the moment, too. Such as, my son. He has a tooth that has snagged on the root of another tooth and isn’t growing right. We’ve been trying to get insurance to cover it for months, and I got a letter in the mail today saying it was approved. I got a call from the orthodontist saying it would be denied. So, I called my orthodontist, and they have no record from the insurance company that the procedure for Toby has been approved. When I tried to book an appointment, they were booking out to July. We’ve been fighting with this since October. Our other option is to pay a private orthodontist which will be faster but much pricier. Rock, meet hard place.
This is what life is when you’re busy making other plans.