Conward Bound

Every year, I go to a science fiction and fantasy convention. Well, I guess I’ve skipped a couple years since I started going, but it’s been few and far between. The last few years though, I stopped going as much for the social aspect of it and started to go to panels to Learn Stuff. A writer can always pick up a few good ideas at a panel, it’s like taking hour long classes. Also, being surrounded by up-and-coming writers who are trying to figure out the ropes as well as authors who have followings and experience recharges my batteries. Writing is a lonely gig, so these meets and greets remind me that my dream is a shared dream.

Sometimes I wonder if I *am* a writer. I haven’t been writing anything lately. It’s been about two or three months. Normally I carve out time come hell or high water, but things have been rough at home, and it took priority.

I’m sad to say that my husband and I have decided to divorce.

It’s not a surprise to most of our friends at this point, and of course our families know. It’s an amiable separation. In fact, I have to admit it has been by far the healthiest, kindest break-up in the history of my whole life. Luke and I have to co-parent Toby, and both of us are taking that seriously, and in the course of that decision have made sure that we are friends, first and foremost. Fortunately, with as much as we already had in common, the transition has been okay. Nothing is great, a break-up is always sad, fraught with regret and buried feelings and lost moments. But it’s been good too, insofar as we’re talking a lot, sharing child care as best as we can, and also spending time apart so we can heal.

This is about as much as I want to talk about it right now, though. I imagine while going to con I’m going to have a lot of catching up to do with friends, and I am sure I’ll be retelling this story several times.

This is why I’m looking forward to con, honestly. My son will be safe with family, and I can decompress for a few days. Luke will be there too, and we will see each other off and on. Which isn’t different from any other con, despite the fact that it is. It’s just a process of clearing the old stuff and building something new.