Avalanche

I haven’t written since before con, I have been remiss. The truth is, I try to keep this blog about my writing, and lately, I haven’t been writing anything.

It turns out, it’s hard to write with a broken heart.

I haven’t been writing about Luke and my split, and it’s been part decision and part inability. In all honesty when you’re struck that sad, focus just gets tossed out the window and it’s hard to think, let alone to compose. Additionally, I didn’t want to just verbally vomit all of the emotions I was experiencing when we split up. Our split was amiable, but there are still some feels that occur when a fifteen-year relationship ends, and I didn’t want to malign anyone because of my hurt feelings.

I’ve been missing the days of LiveJournal though. The days when going off about how emotional you were about something was entirely acceptable. Of course, I was a lot younger then.

Our relationship ending was kind of like an avalanche – the conditions were right, but not easily seen from the outside. It just took one pebble to cascade a huge change that had been building up for years.

Right now I’m grateful because Luke is an amazing co-parent, and our focus has been on caring for Toby jointly.

It’s just hard to not talk about this, as it is the biggest thing going on in my life right now. I work, but it’s work. I like the people there but there isn’t much to share about it. I haven’t been doing much recently except trying to recover from a big shake-up. My life after work is filled up with prepping the place I’m staying at to be ready for Toby as the summer comes on. I’ve been coordinating care for Toby for the summer and occasionally going out to see friends.

Recently I had an idea for a book, so with luck I’ll get that started here in the near future. I’m excited. I haven’t been wanting to write in so long, I was starting to worry that I’d lost the drive.

It looks like you can recover from anything on a long enough timeline.

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